My Future with ME

When I think of the future, I usually see two paths. When I’m feeling more optimistic, I will imagine myself recovering and being able to do things I can’t do now. I will picture myself going for walks, going back to work, singing in a choir, or, most exciting of all, dancing again. 

 

My other vision of the future is one where my health stays the same. Where life is a daily struggle, but one to which I have become accustomed. One where I have to search each day for things to be grateful for, to help me keep going and feel like live is worth living. 

 

I usually don’t let myself think too hard on what happens if my health deteriorates. I will often brush these thoughts off thinking “I’ll find some way to cope if that does happen”. Similarly, I don’t have a plan for if my caregivers are not able to look after me anymore.

 

A couple of years ago, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Of course, I was sad and worried for him, but this did also cause some concerns for me in terms of my care. I could no longer rely on my parents to help me get to medical appointments, or do other tasks for me. It was a bit of a rude awakening that the people I rely on may not always be able to provide the care I need. 

 

In these times of worry, I look to the fellow ME sufferers I know who don’t have the same support network I do. They do manage, somehow, and I try to take comfort from knowing that there are ways to cope, even if it is difficult.

 

I have recently moved into a bungalow from a first floor flat, for which I am very grateful. This means I’m now in a living situation where I’m able to go outside more easily and I have fewer worries about my accommodation being suitable, now and later. 

 

My primary hope for the future is that research will yield an effective treatment or cure. I’m still relatively young, so I have a reasonable amount of confidence that something could emerge in my lifetime. Though if this does fail to come to pass, I do worry about how I’ll cope in my older years both physically and financially. 

(This piece was inspired by prompts provided by ME Centraal https://mecentraal.wordpress.com/)