10 Years Sick
I’ve now been sick for 10 years, a whole decade! Sometimes my old life feels so far removed that it is inconceivable. Other times I feel like if I got magically better tomorrow, I could just step back into it and pick up where I left off. Then I remember I’m no longer in my 20’s and I’ve been out the workforce for a decade. My life has changed a lot in the last 10 years, though my actual day-to-day has changed very little. I’ve had to wrestle with the idea I had for my life; let go of hopes, ambitions and dreams, and find acceptance in where I’m at. I’ve had to accept that I won’t be returning to the job I enjoyed and did well in, let go of a relationship I thought was ‘the one’, let go of hobbies I loved doing, and move from a place I’d made my home. I’ve ended up back in the village where I grew up, something I hadn’t planned on before, and it felt like a bit of a failure. It has, however, allowed me to be close to my parents, to old friends, and to b...